Crashing, Choking and Chaos | Doomsday Mailbag 6

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Doomsday Mailbag, Episode six. Hello, dear listeners. Together, we've seen an awful lot of ship across time and space, and it's only natural that you would have questions. So here is your chance to hear them answered, maybe learn something a little gross, maybe a little interesting. This is my chance to publicly answer some of the friendly, odd and occasionally gross questions that feed in through our various social media channels, and on today's episode sent so many of you wrote in to ask what the hell was up with that? I am just calling out the weird, weird day where I destroyed someone's car and then spent the rest of the day making friends in the stupidest ways possible. Let's begin. As many of you know, I am not a rich man, and so I travel far and wide in order to find places quiet enough to record this. One of my favorite go tos is down by the lake, in an industrial part of town where nobody ever goes. I don't know when the last time you were in a traffic accident might have been, but if it's been a while, do you remember how safe you were right after it happened, and then how as time went on and no more accidents happened. You just started to feel a little more confident in yourself and you got a little lazier. In my case, I t boned a kid from the side but an intersection with no stop signs. He was in the sun. I was out of my mind and it didn't matter. Actually, he was out of his mind. He was so upset and I could just hear what the doing coming out of his car as I realized, well, this is my afternoon. It was a Friday afternoon actually, and it was one of those things where people are usually happier to meet you, but now not so much. This guy, I'm gonna call him Jesse from Little Britain. Well, Jesse had a small fit and I completely understood, and I told him I was going to pull over, and mouse told him I wasn't going to go anywhere. He called a friend who was actually his brother. I was a giant bearer of a dude, not nearly as upset, but you know what, we started talking. I calmed him down. I was trying to be as serious as he needed me to be, but I also wanted to educate him a bit, let him know. You know, in China, there are parts where if you get into an accident and you hit someone, it is so much more expensive to have to deal with the legal costs and consequences that it's actually easier to simply make sure you yell back up and finish the job, so to speak. You can find videos of that on YouTube. And you know what, since then, we've been texting back and forth, Jesse and I honestly good dude, and I told him I'm just sorry that we had to meet in such a stupid way. Fast forward, and we even went to the collision reporting center together. Oh and the fun you can have at a collision reporting center. When we were there, I let him know before we got up to the counter that this was really my last chance to change everything up and yell but hit me. But then I assured him that I wasn't going to do that to him. So my first piece of advice, if you're going to run into anyone, do what I did. Do it at a slow speed, do it in a friendly manner, open the lines of communication, be an adult, and do the right thing. But what you don't want to do is do it in a car that you don't own. Fun part of this story is it wasn't my car. My car died. It's dead, it's gone. But my mechanic was lending me one of his, which I decided to celebrate by immediately destroying it. You do it in somebody else's car, and that paperwork is a mess. I've managed to make friends with the one really mean girl at the counter, and then when I went to have my paperwork signed off on by an actual officer, I get up to him, I say hello. He goes hood and then grabs his throat and says, hey, keep it, hey get and then he runs away. He's just he's gone. I don't know what's happened. He might have choked on some spit. About two or three minutes later, he comes back and he looks at me, and he apologizes, and he says that he just had the most incredibly strange thing happened to his throat, and he pointed to a spot below is Adam's apple. This won't help anybody who doesn't have one of them. But at the two bones of your collar bone, kind of like bottom of your neck, right in the front there, you got a little pocket that sits right above there, and he kind of wiggle your fingers around and there a little bit in that area. I believed he was having an esophageal stricture, which means that that part of your throat and this can happen to anyone at any age. This part of your throat just surprisingly could close us up. And this gentleman had one right in front of me, And so he got to have the very first live safety segment described to him in person. So I worked him through what it is how to try to keep a calm and told them he should google it and he should also speak to his doctor because these things come on out of nowhere, and they worsened quickly, and he was so thankful and we were talking and it was super positive. And then he had to hand me my ticket for hitting this guy, and he looked so sad. He did not want to give me the ticket, wasn't looking all that forward to taking it. But you do what you have to. So on one day, I got to stop a young man from having a panic attack, and I got to teach an officer I'm just going to call him PC O'Brien through a potential medical condition that he was just developing right in front of me, just right place right time, right place, wrong time. And then without getting into it, I drove through the countryside. I pulled over by a dog park that's really rarely remote, and then somehow found myself having to videotape an argument between a couple and a man. And they were screaming about dogs and fu and eat this and blow that and I'm going to kill you. And then it was man against man, man against the other man, man against woman, the guy against his own wife. It was all over the place. They were screaming and freaking, and so I decided, I'm just gonna watch for a minute and see if it gets physical. I was taping, thinking I've got to protect someone here. I just can't tell who the aggressor really is because they were all of them were so damn aggressive. A call nine one one told them what was going on. The one guy left, and then the woman walked away. She just walked home, and the guy sat in the car and when he left, he took off, screeching out of the parking lot, and I thought he's about to run over his wife. So I took off after them. He drove off the road into a field, just lay on the horn and went crazy. And I didn't see his wife anywhere, so I started to go home, had second thoughts, went to the police station just to say, listen, I haven't witnessed a crime, but I'm worried about this woman because this man was threatening to hurt her and she was really kinda what do you mean about it? And I was worried for her safety. I didn't know if she realized how much potential danger she might be in. Brought up the footage, cleared it up a bit on the laptop, they got a plate, they found the guy, and everything turned out all right. So it was a bit of a long day, aren't they all. So I hope I've said enough. I hope that answers everyone's questions. And I'm going to close it up now just on that note, and I want to say, between the bump of my insurance and the repairs and everything else that's just been going on around me, this is my chance to announce that I'm going to be doing in only fans. I don't know what I'm going to do on only fans, but if you'd like me to pass things in and out of my we can talk. Otherwise, if you and everyone you know joined my Patreon for even one dollar a month. This is my short pitch content, content content. I'm adding new content. In fact, by the time you hear this, there should be a retro episode of Chopper Talk. That was my very first initial podcast concept that I talked about a while ago. And I don't do tears. I don't care if you give me ten dollars or one dollar. To my way of thinking, if every person listening gave me one dollar a month, I could quit all this other nonsense, stop smash into other people's cars, and just do this full time. But a boy can dream. This episode made references to none of our previous episodes. That's a first. But if you'd like to hear all of our previous work, they are available everywhere podcasts are found, and I'll leave links in the description. If you do want to help support the ongoing production of the show, you can always find us at Patreon dot com slash funeral Kazoo. I had a comment earlier where someone asked why funeral Kazoo, and the answer was because it's a little bit funny, it's a little bit sad. But if you have commitment issues, you could always just buy me a coffee at Buy Me a Coffee dot com slash doomsday, which people do and I'm incredibly appreciative and always as a reminder, if you have any questions or just one to know what I think about something rattling upstairs in your head, you can reach out to me on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook as Doomsday Podcast, where you can just fire me an email to doomsday pod at gmail dot com. I'm also on TikTok, but I've lost the credentials i can't log in and maybe it gets banned soon. So yeah, on the next episode, I have no idea of what we're going to do because I'm just seriously trying not to incur any more expenses. But there will be a brand new episode of the regular show next week, so we'll talk soon. Safety goggles off, and thanks for listening.