Flaming Plane Parts and Transporter Accidents | Doomsday Mailbag 4

Hello, and welcome to Doomsday Histories Most Dangerous mail Bag Minisode, Part four. Hello, dear listeners. Together, we've seen an awful lot of shot across time and space, and it's only natural that you would have questions. So here is your chance to hear them answered and maybe learn something a little gross, maybe a little interesting. This is my chance to publicly answer some of the friendly, odd and occasionally gross questions that feed in through our various social media channels. On today's episode, I'm going to freeball a question about flying to death. We'll discuss a way to die so extreme they still really have to invent it. And I'm afraid that's going to have to be that, because well, I gotta keep things quick. It's got a lot of stuff to do right now, kind of a busy time, and I had to change things up bit this week topic wise, because sometimes computers just fall apart. Sometimes people's minds become unglued between you and me. It's all a very rich tapestry of distractions and delays at Funeral Kazoo Headquarters. But on with the show, okay. In today's mail bag, I had a question from Pat from Ronkonkomo, which is on Long Island if you've never heard of it. But it's a lot of fun to say if you don't know where Long Island is, that's part of the greater New York City area. I'm shouting out Pat and all the listeners who, ironically enough, I'll danced around the same question. They wanted to know when we were going to do another airplane episode. Hint, I'm going to tell you at the end of this mail bag. Okay, So Pat wanted to know what my favorite flight episode was and if I had a preferred way to die in an aircraft. Yeah, okay, I'm going to answer this two ways, one with my favorite dad joke answer. Ever, I would prefer to die peacefully in my sleep like my father before me, not screaming in panic like his passengers. I'm obviously kidding. My dad is still very much alive, and as far as you know, he has never killed anyone. So oh, okay. When I look back upon all the different airline aircraft and falling out of the sky kind of disasters that we have covered, my favorite debt by aircraft of all the episodes we've done is the cryptic Congo aircrash of twenty ten. Final answer. I love this story. If you haven't heard it yet, I made it as a minisota because it's it's a really short story. A man in the Congo boarded a flight with twenty other people. There was a small commuter plane, and it wasn't unusual in different areas of the world outside of North America for people to bring livestock on board planes with them, you know, for trading or whatever. And in this case, this man had smuggled a four foot crocodile in his carry on. It was just inside of a Duffel case, and at some point in the flight the thing got out scared the absolutely living hell out of everyone, and so they decided to hide in the cockpit. You're standing on the neck, and which was really bad for the balance of the plane. When all the way shifted to the front and it descended directly into a house below, and there was one survivor, and this man struggled to understand and believe what had even just happened to them, and then he discovered that there were actually two survivors. The only other survivor of this air crash had been the crocodile itself, which as far as we know was killed on site by rescuers with machetes, making it the luckiest and unluckiest crocodile of all time. In fact, I've known about this story for so long, and I always, always, always wanted to do it. I told the story to my daughter when she was young, and she made an animation for me of the event, which I'm going to post online. But this is not the way that I would like to go right away. As a rule, I'm gonna discount all of the rocket crashes. I have no interest in going into space. I mean I would love to be there, I just have no interest in actually getting there. So you're never going to find me on the news dead from a rocket disaster. There was the Palomara's nuclear incident of nineteen sixty six. Yeah. No, thanks for those who remember, you already know there are better ways to get to Spain. And this goes for any aircraft, not just military aircraft, but any time that your plane crashes by means of running into another plane or exploding, or just running into another explosion, or just you know, anything that makes the whole thing come undone at altitude. No, thank you. I'm happy that most of the people are not one survived, but they were also dropping nuclear bombs at the same time, so again no thank you. Then there was the US Navy versus typhoon Cobra in nineteen forty four, which technically counts as a identic accounts. I mean, there were lots and lots and lots of planes destroyed in that episode, more than any other episode we've ever done. Some had to ditch in the ocean, others were just turned into pieces. And the idea of doing any of this in eighty foot waves, no thank you. And actually, you know what, the Congo aircrash, I'm just thinking about it now reminds me of another episode that never happened. I just discussed one in the last mail bag. I was working on an episode on an Air Africa disaster in I think kinshasa basically consider a plane overrunning the runway and it's a big military style giant propellers forward facing, and it overran the runway and at the end of the runway was this incredibly busy and popular market, hacked with people, and the plane kind of lawnmowered its way through the crowd, And yeah, I felt really really bad about trying to find the good in this, so it just never happened. Then there was the Dallas Fort Worth microburst of nineteen eighty five. I want to say no, thank you. And I'm thinking about a video that my wife and I made one time when we got tricked into going on to the hell was it one of these virtual three D rides that's been around in all directions? And yeah, I nearly threw up. So if I find that video, I'm posting that one too, because I'll tell you everything you need to know about why I don't want to pinwheel across a way before exploding. More recently, we did the Goodyear Blimp disaster of nineteen nineteen. I forgive this account too dirigible. You know, it's an air vehicle of sorts. But when I think in that one and I compared to any other one, sayt Polymers, that was instant Congo disaster. I mean it was panicky, but it was fast. But imagine being attached to a balloon the person of flames and the pilot turns around and has enough time to tell you you're about to die, and then he jumps out right in front of you and just leaves you there. No, thank you, No, this was back at a time when balloons were barely things. Parachutes were still fairly crap. Other than the opportunity to spend some time in Chicago, there's no upsides. I'm not doing that one. No, So, if I had to pick one way to die in any of our episodes, I'm going Dallas Fort Worth for one thing. I've been there. I like Texas. Hey, Texas, and probably only because it has the highest survivability rate of any of the air crashes that we've covered. That isn't to say it was a great survivability rate, but it was superior to the others. Yeah, I'm going Dallas Fort Worth. But for the record, I don't want to do any of these. Okay. This next question comes from two listeners, actually nerds, Oh beautiful nerds from Texas of all places. Again, Hi Texas. I want to thank Karen and ray Lee, who I'm hoping I'm saying that correct. They had a question about future death and future disasters and specifically transporter accidents. Now, the thing about transporters in the way they describe it in say Star Trek, is it rips apart every atom in your body, one by one, scans them. They send that signal somewhere else, and somewhere else you are rebuilt Adam by Adam from just spare whatever floating around, and boom, that second version of you is now you. Now. The way I think about matter is that matter has mass, so you can scan it, send it somewhere else, and recreate it. Let's say that was true. What about the energy? I mean, all matter is energy, But what makes you you? What makes us us? I feel like that's just the energy between our cells and it's just all cumulative. And if energy doesn't have mass, how do they teleport you? Meaning what I am expecting to happen the day that this is finally a real invention, the first test pilot is going to go through. They're going to show up somewhere else with the same goofy look that they had on their face when they left, except they will be completely devoid of any sentience or life and they will just PLoP on the ground. That is a doornail right there. But to be more of a traditionalist, I went through YouTube and I found the only examples of transporter accidents that I could think of. One was in Star Trek, the motion picture. The first of all the Star Trek movies, And in that one there was a transporter accident where two people were taken apart or sent somewhere else to be rebuilt. Except the pattern their shape, so to speak, it wasn't strong enough, so they kind of started to melt and they kind of started to scream, and I mean scream horrible. Imagine the human form as delicate and intricative as it is, kind of mush it down like it was made of Plato. And how do the organs continue to work? How does the brain continue to interpret what's going on inside and outside of its own body? And the scream that came out of this thing was horrific. The throat, the vocal cords, they're all kind of melting and slurrying into each other. And as a side thing, this second person in the transporter was a vulcan, which I believe the writers would have done on purpose so that they wouldn't have had two people screaming horrifically. I don't know how any sensor would have got past that. And when they show up, you don't actually see them, and the people who do see them say that they didn't live very long. Alma, thankfully. Now, the other example was in Galaxy Quest, made in the late nineties early two thousands, I don't remember when exactly, but at one point they decide to use their version of a teleporter or the transporter, and they bring up the space pig from this planet and the thing shows up inside out, squealing horrifically, freaking everybody out. And then after a time it explained now I said, there's no way I want to do either of these things, which is exactly why I threw the question out on social media, and everybody came back saying they would rather melt than turn inside out and explode, which I totally totally understand. I don't know what your perception of the universe would be like if your body was suddenly turned inside out, or what I do know is that the inevitable explosion at the end took way longer than the screaming people on the transporter pads and Star Trek, and based off nothing else than that, and knowing that in times of crisis and emergency, time feels like it's already slowing down. Yeah, I mean, I would rather do the first one and they just pull the plug and I'll just disappear into the ether or whatever. Mora. A few people are disgusting, but I love you all. You know how you can tell when a podcast host has genuine affection for their audience. Think of the question that you just made me answer. That is how much I love you people. And again I like to apologize. I have to keep things short this week. Besides, who doesn't need a breather after that transporter question? Apologies to gene. Leo is doing great for what that's worth. And I put off your question because he might actually be coming here again in about a week, so I will get it all out. Then. I was also going to answer a question about my earliest most formative disaster memories, but that's another really long one, so I'm pushing that off too. No, I'm not pushing it off. I'm guiding it lovingly to another time slot. And before we wrap up, I want to thank everyone for submitting their guesses on the number of people who've died for your entertainment on this show. Keep those answers coming, and I'm going to announce a winner in two weeks. I promise we do more aircraft disasters in the future, like I teased before. So here's what I'm going to tell you first. The next episode, Nope, not aircraft. Here's my hit for that one. What's one hundred and seventy feet long and turns limbs into paste. That's all you get. I'm preserving the romance. But on the next next episode, I can't remember who I told this too. But in the summer, I had a chance to get to Arizona and I went to the Grand Canyon, and when I got there, I found the plaque for an airline to disaster that happened at the Grand Canyon, right over the spot where I was standing. And people saw this plaque and they had their respectful takes on it. But I ran up to the thing and hugged it, and I was going off on my family. Oh my god, I completely forgot. I can't believe we're here and this is happening and why. And I was so excited that the people were looking at me like I had caused it or I don't know. Two episodes from now, I'm going to fill you in on the rest. Well. First, this episode made references to content from a whole bunch of past episodes, and I'll post links in the description. All of our older episodes can be found wherever you found this one, and while you're there, please leave us a review and tell your friends. And I want to shout out all of those listeners who do you. People are built wrong and once again I love you for it. If you care to support the ongoing production of the show, you can find us at Patreon dot com slash funeral Kazoo, or you can just buy me a coffee at buy me a Coffee dot com slash Doomsday. If you are curious to hear my take on things rattle around upstairs in your head, you can reach out to me on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook as Doomsday Podcast, or fire us an email the Doomsday Pod at gmail dot com. On the next mail bag, we're going to discuss why the show sounds so so gross. We'll get back to that traumatic memory that led to the genesis of this show, and I'm going to announce the winner of our body count guessing game. So tell your friends and tell your friends to tell their friends. We are trying to grow this show. In the meantime, we'll talk soon. Safety goggles off and thanks for listening.